Inboxed in the Face: One Girl's Online Dating Hell
lightspeedsound:

yeahhhhh NO
NO
NO
by the way, my profile reads:

Additionally, please note that I am not going to be the threesome girl that saves the relationship between you and your girlfriend. Go away. Also note, that if you get angry at me for not responding to you, you sound like a complete idiot.

lightspeedsound:

yeahhhhh NO

NO

NO

by the way, my profile reads:

Additionally, please note that I am not going to be the threesome girl that saves the relationship between you and your girlfriend. Go away. Also note, that if you get angry at me for not responding to you, you sound like a complete idiot.

bless you for knowing the word prescriptivist. i swear the reason i don't have any local matches more than 95% is all my local ones are like "GRAMMAR IZ IMPORTANT!!!!" and I'm like "yes but NOT THE GRAMMAR THAT YOU'RE THINKING OF".

OH MY GOD YES THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I FEEL 

woke up to this lovely gem of a conversation on OKCupid today.

Yes, I mention in my profile that I love dimsum and also cheap americanized chinese.

So this white-ass racist piece of shit decided to tell me what my culture was like, and then call me “sensitive” for calling him out on his bullshit.

This is why I hate bizarre foods so much. Fuck you, Andrew Zimmerman, and fuck you, racist white piece of shit on OKC.

so some background, first: 

On my profile, I list that I  dislike people who think that pointing out errors in prescriptivist grammar constitutes a valid argument.

….this person sent me a ridiculously long essay on the color blue and referred to it as a “weekend assignment” (long story, it involved something I actually recently took down from my profile, which means this person has been really looking me up for quite a while)

anyways, person also sent me YET ANOTHER message. (bear in mind: I never replied to the first)

….Because comparing yourself to a serial killer is DEFINITELY THE WAY TO GO BECAUSE NOTHING SAYS SEXY AND INTRIGUING MORE THAN “I COMPARE MYSELF TO A CANNIBAL PSYCHOPATH” 

also, these are his pictures:

(yes, a masquerade ball where he wears a mask on his crotch)

"inky colly octo-locks, an illustration"

and

um

this:

ARE YOU REFUSING TO SHOW YOUR FACE BECAUSE YOU ARE CURRENTLY WEARING A MASK MADE OUT OF ANOTHER PERSON’S FACE OR ARE YOU MERELY TOO BUSY SIPPING FAVA BEANS AND CHIANTI AND SOMEBODY’S LIVER. 

WHAT THE FUCKKKKKK. 

okcebooks:

it’s like he knows me…

OH MY GOD.
you GUYS YOU GUYS
IS THIS NOW A THING
IS THIS NOW SOME WEIRD PICKUP ARTIST THINGIE 
WTF WTH WTF 
ps if you want to what “strawberry” means, apparently it means “i think you’re fucking exotic and sexual so I wanna get in your pants”

okcebooks:

it’s like he knows me…

OH MY GOD.

you GUYS YOU GUYS

IS THIS NOW A THING

IS THIS NOW SOME WEIRD PICKUP ARTIST THINGIE 

WTF WTH WTF 

ps if you want to what “strawberry” means, apparently it means “i think you’re fucking exotic and sexual so I wanna get in your pants”

"I was just being trueful"

image

image

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OKC hit parade. This one’s a REAL fucking winner. Note the match percentage vs. enemy percentage.

Note: The link in the second image was for this picture:

image

And dudes like this are the reason I deactivated my account.

Cereus:  yay submissions! or rather…oh…yuck…submissions?

Either way, this is probably one of the most painful thinks I’ve ever seen. 

i had such high hopes for this conversation. *shakes fists*
cereus: submission time! and ohhhhh boy, because there’s nothing better than a man who wants to reduce you down to body parts. 

i had such high hopes for this conversation. *shakes fists*

cereus: submission time! and ohhhhh boy, because there’s nothing better than a man who wants to reduce you down to body parts. 

ugh what the hell. i want your brain.
Anonymous

….what? um…thanks?

In what universe is calling out a girl who’s willing to call herself a geek as being “not a real geek” (offensive???? WTF?) sound dating strategy?
….I bet he thinks he’s such a NICE GUY too. 

In what universe is calling out a girl who’s willing to call herself a geek as being “not a real geek” (offensive???? WTF?) sound dating strategy?

….I bet he thinks he’s such a NICE GUY too. 

Oh my god this blog is perfect. And you live in Baltimore too and we might go to the same law school and wtf was that guy suggesting you go to RA because he apparently has an Asian fetish??
Anonymous

….I think so? also message me where you go and your first name!